How To Manage Jealousy And Envy

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The green-eyed monster. Green with envy. Whatever you want to call it, we all can admit it has shown itself in our lives many times. I’m talking about jealousy and envy. I used to live in this space of being envious of my classmates and jealous of those that seemed to have it all. That is why I will get super honest in this episode and let you know how I help get myself out of this space. We will dive into what is at the core of our jealousy and envy, what the difference in these 2 emotions even is, and then, of course, ways that we can seek to grow in gratitude and let go of this competition we feel like we have with others. Here’s this episode at a glance: 


(2:00) How I’ve struggled with this. Through high school, college, medical school, and everything in between. 

(4:01) What’s at the core? Scarcity mentality & insecurity can be 2 reasons we feel jealousy and envy. 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is a great book that explores scarcity mindset. 

(6:42) Envy versus jealousy. How are they actually different? Brené Brown explains this well. 

(8:30) Win/Win versus Win/Lose. Others’ success doesn’t mean you have failed and why this mindset shift matters. 

(11:27) Comparison. They are ahead of you, achieved more, have more friends, and on and on. But, you don’t know what that “more” cost them. 

(14:08) Strategy #1: Ask, “what are you making it mean?” and then, you decide. What can you learn about others’ success? 

(16:12) Strategy #2: Practice abundance mentality. There’s enough out there for everyone! You are not always in competition with each other. 

(20:00) Strategy #3: Practice gratitude. Take a look at the things you have achieved and grown in and be grateful for where you are. 

Well, that’s it friends! I know these emotions can be hard to talk about because of the shame and embarrassment that can surround them, but it is so important to not hide our jealousy and envy, but to deal with it. I hope these strategies help you as much as they have helped me. Be sure to reach out on socials if you want to say hi and until next time, it was good to see you.


I'm Rupa Wong.

Hi! I'm Dr. Rupa Wong. Physician. Private Practice Owner. Mama to 3 kids. Managing Partner. Educator. Textbook Author. Conference Co-Founder. Mentor. I am more than just one thing, even as a doctor and I bet you are too. I would love to help you envision the life you want, and then get after it. What are you waiting for?


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