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4 Cures for Working Mom Guilt

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Does guilt about being a professional working mom seem to overwhelm you at times? You worry that you aren’t giving enough to your kids. Or that when you are with them, your time and attention are split.

My kids have always been completely involved in my work life. I had a nursery in my clinic until my youngest child started kindergarten. They know exactly what I do and who I help. But mom guilt rears its ugly head often, especially as they kids have gotten older. They have more practices, recitals and school events. And I can’t always make them.

And that’s where the guilt kicks in – You feel like you should be doing something better – whether at home or at work – that pull between working and being a mom.

The scenarios that can cause mom guilt:

You feel guilty because you’re missing out on something but your kid doesn’t even know the difference.

You miss something you wish you could be there for and your kid wants you there too – whether it’s an athletic game, a performance or just dinner 

The Comparison game
My daughter told me about her friend’s mom was getting up early and packing snacks  for every every morning. In my house that’s my time to work out. I almost feel selfish saying that. But, my kids have that responsibility to pack their own snacks the night before school. And that has taught them how to care for themselves and that they are capable.

It is a false narrative that you have to be there 100% to be a good mom.

What I do when I feel this way:

  1. Recognize that I want to be doing the things that I am doing aside from being a mom. Personally, I think it’s important for kids to understand the value of work and to see me working. I get to work and I take ownership that I enjoy my work and that doesn’t make me a bad mom in any way.
  2. That I’m building skills of resilience. That they have life skills because  they can do things for themselves.
  3. 70% is good enough. There are times emotionally when I lose it with my kiddos – I absolutely do. But I take ownership of that. I apologize and show them that I’m trying to do better. that parents fail too, we’re trying and we don’t always get it right.

Aloha!

I'm Rupa Wong.

Hi! I'm Dr. Rupa Wong. Physician. Private Practice Owner. Mama to 3 kids. Managing Partner. Educator. Textbook Author. Conference Co-Founder. Mentor. I am more than just one thing, even as a doctor and I bet you are too. I would love to help you envision the life you want, and then get after it. What are you waiting for?

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